Lori's Poems: May 2012

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Sea of Faces

(Sometimes, I find old poems that I forgot about. I think this one was in an old memo pad)

Everywhere I look
I see happy couples
People together
And I think about you
And how nice it would be
If we were still together

Is it you that I miss?

Or do I just miss the security
Of always having someone
To be with
To talk to
To share

Every day I survey a sea of faces
And no one looks back

Sometimes a familiar face looks out
But it is not the same

A nod, a wave
A quick Hello
Chit chat

Pre-ordained rules
It is my job to be nice
Smile, wave
Chit chat

No deep connection or meaning
Bobbing along the surface
It's pleasant enough
Helps pass time

I understand how easy it is to feel alone
In a room full of people

And why couples who break up
Keep trying to get back together
Though it makes them miserable

And I keep searching the sea of faces
And wonder if anyone will ever look back.

Copyright 2008. Lori Dominick

Knowing

(Sometimes, dating isn't fun...)

In your heart, you know this one is wrong
He’s nice enough
Cute, funny, smart
Generous

But something isn’t right

At first, you dismiss it
Then you question it
You try to accept it
But you can’t

It comes creeping out late at night

When you are alone
With no one around to explain it away
Or justify it
And you can’t accept it anymore

So you end it

Your heart HURTS
Even though you are making the right decision
Why does your heart hurt so much?
Your heart knows this had to be done.

You wish he wasn’t so nice, so cute,

So funny, so smart
So generous
It would make things easier.

Copyright 2011. Lori Dominick

The Commander

You live on a boat so you can be the captain
Whatever you say goes.
You use technology to control everything on the boat
A robot vacuums what little floor space you have
At a set specific time
Everything from lights to music is programmed
A voice tells you what time it is, when the sunset is,
what the weather is like
The monitors display how much energy you are using
You want to have dominion over everything in your life
Including relationships
Yet you are skittish about spiders
And lightning
and things you can't control

The Boat

(There's a reason why people refer to boats as "she"...)

He bought the boat for a few reasons

To save money
To be closer to work
But more importantly,
It was always something he wanted to do
And lately,
He’s been doing everything he’s wanted to do
Free of commitment
Free of complications
On the boat, he can keep his distance
It’s obvious that it is all about the boat
There is only one mistress.

But the boat has a mind of her own

As all boats do
If he doesn’t tie her down, she will float away
He has to buy new ropes
She will bump into the piers and other boats
He has to buy new floats
He thinks he is controlling her,
But his time is consumed with taking care of her
If he doesn’t treat her gently
She will break all of his dishes
(An accident of course
Caused by another boat’s wake)

Things that aren’t secured

Are lost in the water
She doesn’t like her dock
He looks for another
If he’s away too long
He worries; what will she have done?
Corroded spark plugs?
Clogged plumbing?
He buys more things
Gives her a new name
Even holds a half-hearted naming ceremony
Praying to a god he doesn’t believe in

You shouldn’t mock Poseidon

She knows this
But he is trying
They go out on the water
She is free of her moorings
For all too-brief moments
She is free on the water

Copyright 2011. Lori Dominick

The Eclipse

I saw a shooting star

on the longest night of the year
And the moon disappeared
That hasn’t happened in almost 400 years

What would they have thought back then

Woman alone staring at the cold moon
Moon child
Wishing on a shooting star
Witch child, star child
She always was a little strange
A little different
A little off

Would they run me out of town

Burn me at the stake
Would I be blamed for bad weather
Ships sinking, unwelcome news

For wishing on a falling star

On the longest night of the year
The coldest night
When the moon disappeared?

The Heart

The heart sees and feels what it wants to

Looks through the rose colored glasses
Ignores signs

The mind is more wary

Sensing that something is too good to be true
Ignores the heart

Asks questions

Does research
Seeks truth
Knowing it is better to hurt now rather than later

The heart is angry

The heart makes up excuses
The heart still thinks there is possibility

But the mind knows

No possibility here
But possibility eventually
Just not this time, this place, this person

The heart sees the house of cards tumble down

And knows
And knows the mind is right
Again

And the heart cannot function

Cannot take another rejection
And all former rejections and failures come to the surface

And the mind starts wrapping the heart

In gauze and plaster

It will take some time to dry
But then the heart will be protected
And will be able to function
Until the next time

And the heart vows never to love

And never to let her guard down
And never to be weak

The heart will hide in the plaster fortress
And fortify it with bricks, mortar, barbed wire
The heart will chant a litany
Never let your guard down
Never fall in love
Never imagine possibility
Never get hurt
Again

But the mind knows

The heart will find cracks in the fortress
And love
Again

The Fish

(Another favorite, maybe because I'm a Pisces...)

The Fish

The fish swim with the flow

And you think they are easy to push around

The fish spit things out they don’t like
And you say they are picky

The fish fall in love easily

And you say they are foolish

The fish take a long time to make to decisions

And you say they are weak

The fish are trusting

And you say they are naïve

The fish cut through the water at swift speeds

And you say they are rash

The fish are protected by shiny interlocking scales

And you say they are defensive

And yet you bait the fish and try to catch them and keep them

In your aquarium where they will swim around for your bidding
Relying on you for food, clean water, and air
And you will tap on the glass and shake things up and change their environment
And stress them out to no end except that they are doing your bidding

And you wonder why the fish jump out of the aquarium when you take the lid off.

Facebook 2.0

October 2010. I had written a poem, and I really liked it. Inspired by all of the house concerts I'd been attending, I thought this poem would make a good song. I spoke to a friend, he spoke to some friends, and a musician actually took this and turned it into a song! Sometimes, anything is possible! One day, I'll have to figure out if I can add the song to this page.

I Saw it on Facebook 2.0

I saw it on Facebook

You got re-married
I hope you don’t mind
If I don’t send a card

I’m not sure why it gets to me

I just think that you owed me
A line, a note, a short conversation
After 20 years, you have some obligation

Something has changed

Yet the world goes on
I’m better without you
It’s time to move on

But you won the contest

You have a partner
A shoulder to lean on
Need I go farther?

Something has changed

Yet the world goes on
I’m better without you
It’s time to move one

I’m going through boxes

I’m having a yard sale
It’s a lease on a new life
I’m deleting your email

Something has changed

Yet the world goes on
I’m better without you
It’s time to move on

I saw it on Facebook

You got re-married
I hope you don’t mind
If I don’t send a card

Produced by Paul Loyd, he’s just this guy.
Copyright 2010. Lori Dominick

Time to Let You go

September 21, 2010 – and I’m STILL getting over this?!

Time to Let You Go

Some of the rooms are arranged just so

It’s time to let you go
Pictures are perfectly placed
I covered up your face
It’s time to let you go

Some rooms try to re-create

The way things were
I keep things I don’t need
I keep things just in case
It’s time to let you go

Some rooms have boxes I haven’t opened

I cannot make a decision
I had a plan for all of these things
In a different room, in a different place
It’s time to let you go

I had a plan for all of these things

To make a happy home
And none of it fits here
None of it goes with anything
It’s time to let you go

Tomorrow I start sorting

Things to donate, things to trash
Things to sell
Things I do not want or need
I could use the money
It’s time to let you go

How Much

I am a huge fan of house concerts - where extremely talented musicians put their poetry to music. This is my attempt at writing "a song".

How much -

I look out into the crowd and I see your faces

The stage has changed; the game’s the same
How much do I have to give away
To get you to like me and my music?

Will a smile be enough?

Will you laugh at my jokes?
Will you listen to what I’m singing?
Can you hear what I’m playing?

I worked really hard on those chords.

I’m pouring my heart out
I spent hours searching for the right rhyme,
The right words, the right pulse.

How much do I have to give away

To get you to like me and my music

You’ve never heard me before

You’ve heard me hundreds of times
You want something with rock and roll
You think everything should rhyme

When it’s over

I don’t get a break but I don’t mind
Working the crowd is part of the deal
What else do you need to buy my CD’s?

How much do I have to give away

To get you to like me and my music

I need to be all things to everyone

I have to be brilliant and funny and smart
I can’t let my guard down
or make offhand remarks

I flirt – just a little - just enough

I have to make you believe
You are the most important person in the room
And in truth, you are all important to me

I wish I could give you each my undivided attention
I would love to talk about the meaning in my songs
Why I wrote them, why I used those words or that beat
What I was thinking when I chose that chord

I want to share the story behind the story I tell up here

But there’s no time.
I’m off to the next town, next stage, next place
And I start the tale all over again

How much do I have to give away

To get you to like me and my music

Places

I have to make these places my own

Now
Forget about the time we spent
Looking at furniture
Planning for the future
Taking measurements

I have to figure out what I like

What I want
I can’t worry or think about what you would say
I need to quiet your voice in my head
Erase your imprints in my mind

Yet you show up at the strangest times

When I least expect it
Reminding me
This place is not mine yet
Your imprint is still here

The places we went

Need to become the places I go

Copyright 2010. Lori Dominick

Nightmares

October 20, 2009

Nightmares

I don’t sleep well.

I have nightmares about you.
You try to kill me
I have to kill you

You are cheating on me

You are cheating on me
You cheat a lot

In many of my dreams, you’ve changed

I don’t know who you are

And in the dreams,

I’m always cleaning up some kind of mess
Packing up stuff
Going through drawers
Sifting, sifting
And you go on your merry way

And I’m stuck

I wake up sad and confused

I sift through to try to figure it out
Stuck

And you go on your merry way

My Mind is an Axe

This is one of my favorites - Lori

My mind is an
Axe-
Makes decisions
Without regard to feelings
Severs ties
Divines truth
When no one wants to see
Swift

Final

Silent
Judge Jury Executioner
Mind seeks to protect
Remove feelings
Cut away deadwood
Stay sharp
Stay focused
Mind does what it
Has to do
To PROTECT

The axe is my symbol

My job is to protect
To protect myself
I will sever ties
I will cut off feelings
I will make quick judgments
I will remove deadwood
I will eliminate clutter
And pain and
Confusion
And doubt
My mind is my axe

I will wield it

To defend
To attack when attacked
To protect
To hurt when hurt
Shining
Slicing
Swinging
Gleaming
Bright and defiant

I cannot be hurt

anymore
I will not be hurt
Anymore
I can hurt
I will hurt

I will go on

The offensive
I will go on the
Attack
I will be swifter
In making judgments
In divining truth
In severing ties
In cutting off feelings

I will own the

Axe
I will NEVER let
My guard down
AGAIN.

Copyright. Lori Dominick

Terra Cotta Warriors

In June, 2008, I traveled to China with the Maryland Community Band. One of the main reasons I wanted to go was to see the Terra Cotta Warriors in Xi'an, China. Here's an attempt at conveying my feelings.

Terra Cotta Warriors I

Peaceful and serene

Ever watchful
Always vigilant
Alert

You almost feel

That they could come to life

But

Their weapons are missing

Chariots rotted
Horses out of place
Armor is faded

Some soldiers are crumbled

By ravages of time

Hollow shells
Each one unique
Who were they modeled on?

Seven Generals wait

When they hear the call,
Will they be ready?

How long do you wait

Shaped, fired, painted, armed
Sealed underground

To guard the Emperor

In the afterlife

Terra Cotta Warriors II

I was molded in clay

Fired in a 900 degree kiln
Given a unique face, demeanor
Painted in bright colors
Armed

Then sealed underground

To wait

To serve my Emperor in the afterlife

Thousands of us

Perhaps modeled after family, friends, self
Artists’ signatures hidden in the details

It would not matter

When the tomb was finished
The artists would be finished
And silenced and buried as well

But not standing upright

Thrown into mass burial pits
as an afterthought

Much more attention and thought

was given to me

A Terra Cotta Warrior

So much attention to every detail
So much thought given to placement
So much contemplation on the afterlife
So little regard for the living.

Copyright 2008. Lori Dominick

Melancholy Teapot

June 26, 2008

Melancholy Teapot

I saw teapots

And I was sad
I love teapots
But today they made me think of you
And I’m sad

I thought I was over it

But 20 years is a long time

And I still wonder

What you would think of things
Like teapots

And how I bought you a teapot

With dragonflies on it
To symbolize a new beginning
So we could work on it

And now I have the teapot

And I don’t necessarily think
That it’s you that I miss

But I miss having someone

To care about and to do things with
And maybe have some tea

Contentment

Contentment

There is a feeling of

Contentment

Sometimes

When I’m putting away things

A certain satisfaction

“A place for everything…

…Everything in it’s place”

Mise en place

This belongs here
This goes there
This is in the wrong place

Clutter vanishes

Gets recycled
Gets donated
Goes in the trash

With nothing nagging at me

Pulling, tugging me into despair and distress

The room inspires

And I can find things
And I can relax
De-stress
Dream
Create

Copyright 2007. Lori Dominick