Grasping at Small Slivers

Another variant on "Small Slivers".  Trying to make something out of nothing in a relationship.

Grasping at Small Slivers

I steal small slivers of domestic life

Cooking, cleaning, helping with projects

Morning coffee

Hugs

I like the way our arms fit together stretched out
mine on the inside

Yours on the outside
your hand over mine
Protecting me
I feel safe, comforted

For brief moments, I want to believe

This is real, lasting, permanent

Yet, as always,

Other plans interfere;

One of us has to leave

I remind myself that this is what we agreed on

I’m not sure why I steal these slivers

Holding them close

Trying to piece together

Something whole from our relationship

That doesn’t work on so many levels

I take those jagged pieces

Of “normalcy”

Pieces of domestic bliss

If I can collect enough

I can pretend that we have something real

But when you piece something together

There are fracture lines, cracks

Missing pieces

And what you think is whole

Is not.

11/28/13 Lori Dominick

It's Probably Nothing

~ I wrote this in March 2012, it seems fitting to post it for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.   It's based on something that I went through, but everything is OK~

It's Probably Nothing

It’s something small, she said

The only indication that something is there in my body

Something that doesn’t belong there
But they can’t discuss it with you               

You get a letter       
This needs to be checked in six months

You put it out of your head

Six months later you finally make another appointment

It’s not so scary this time. 

You’ve seen the moon craters and spider webs from the x-ray
and the ocean waves of the sonogram.

But it’s still there.
They won’t tell you what it is.
You resolve to put it out of your mind
There is nothing you can do
And you go to hear some music
Take your mind off things

And this picture behind the musician
looks like a giant breast
With a purple splotch
Where the techs keep looking

She tells you not to move after she takes the x-ray
You are trapped anyway
Where would you go?

You try to have a good attitude
It’s nothing.

But you fear deep down that you are going to have to deal with this.
What armor can protect you?
What shield?
It’s inside you.

Small Slivers

When a relationship isn't working, and yet, you keep trying to make it work.  By holding on to small parts of the relationship and pretending it's enough. 

Small Slivers

I steal small slivers of domestic life

Cooking, cleaning, helping with projects

Morning coffee

Hugs

I like the way our arms fit together stretched out
mine on the inside

Yours on the outside
your hand over mine
Protecting me
I feel safe, comforted

For brief moments, I want to believe

This is real, lasting, permanent

Yet, as always,

Other plans interfere;

One of us has to leave

We need our space

We are free to do what we want

We can see who we want

We make our own plans

I remind myself that this is what we agreed on

I’m not sure why I steal these slivers

And hold them close

When they break my heart

Copyright 2013.  Lori Dominick